Summer Blues

So, hey… I’ve been working a new book for a while. Actually, I started it in January but it got put on the back-burner due to other projects. Then, of course, summer hit and with it, a heaping load of apathy and self-doubt.

It’s nothing to worry about. It’s a pattern I’ve come to recognize with myself in regards to the book publishing aspect of writing. You see, as I write, I am inspired and excited to present my story to the world. But the actual reality of publishing can be quite soul-destroying. The moment a book is uploaded, a feeling of helplessness comes into play.

Why? Because, I suppose, it comes down to lack of validation from readers. It’s sad, true. It’s weak, yes. But it’s the truth. I write for the joy of it, but I publish for the readers. When I hear nothing from readers, the process seems pointless.

See, I can write stories for the joy of it, stories that I would want to read, create characters that I love, and simply keep them all to myself and be quite content. It’s what I did before I decided to take the plunge into self-publishing. I can easily go back to doing that. It’s what might just happen.

What can I tell you? I’m a victim of vanity just like everyone else. But is it vanity or wanting validation? If wanting validation for your work is wrong, then I apologize and ignore me.

But… if you’ve read my books and have taken that extra step to reach out to me, I thank you, and hold your kind words close to my heart. If you’ve taken the time to write a review, then bless you, you are my beloved few.

If you’ve read, enjoyed, yet never said a word, I forgive you. My readers are generally shy and introverted. It’s what I believe to be true, because to those are who my words speak the loudest.

~Maria Bernard~